Recovery
by BatteredandBloodied
Summary: Chell has finally escaped the wretched Aperture Laboratories facility, but the cruel 'outside world' brings Chell to her emotional ends. Chell finds puzzling memories that must be solved, raging pain, and finding her past. The question is, will it happen?
1. The Real World

Author's note: _...and now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  
><em>This story is rated M for safety, it will also contain an original character to help explain Chell's past as I have seen it.  
>I hope you enjoy the story.<p>

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><p><em>What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here. <em>~GLaDOS

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><p>She stared out at the blinding sun, not really even bothering to shield her eyes. It enveloped her in its warmth like an angel wrapping its wings around her. The young woman hadn't realized how hungry, how fragile, and how desperate she had been for this moment until now. She closed her eyes, carefully sitting on the charred Companion Cube, as if it would shatter beneath her. She wished she could find the words to describe her emotions, they were as bright as the sun's red rays stretching across the sky, but her voice wouldn't work. She couldn't push herself to talk. She even opened her mouth, she begged in her mind to make it work, but only a faint hum escaped. The words were screaming in her mind, but they couldn't get out, as if there was a wall keeping them from her vocal chords. As much as she tried to forget about it, her mind traced back to the wicked ones at Aperture Science. They took everything from her, even her voice. They didn't even have the dignity to leave her with that.<br>_That wasn't science…it was a madman's playpen where he could use his toys, us subjects…_

An impatient growl from her stomach was enough to get the woman out of her thoughts and back on her feet. She stared out at the looming road. She didn't hear any vehicles, no people, not a thing, except for the wind gently caressing the crops next to her. She remembered the Companion Cube. As much as she hated to admit it, she had become attached to the hunk of metal, and it almost felt wrong to think about leaving it to sit alone on the abandoned road. She tried to lift it, but it was extremely heavy and she couldn't carry it far. Almost to the point of huffing for breath, the woman collapses down against the cube, staring up at the sky. Somewhere up there, Wheatley, a _major_ heap of trash, was floating up in space, probably talking his bolts off in a meager attempt to fill his starry doom with some comfort. Part of her missed his endless blabbering about absolutely nothing, and part of her was glad he was gone, remembering the hellish tests he put her through. Somehow, he managed to make them even worse than…hers. The woman shuddered, wrapping her arms around her body, trying to forget the horrid beast lurking in the metal shell.  
>A surge of pain struck her stomach, its growls becoming desperate. She knew she had to find something to eat, and fast. She pushed herself against the Companion Cube to make the effort of moving it easier on herself, but it didn't get her very far, for she had only gotten about four feet past the hatch she had stepped out of before she was too tired to go on. A battle was emerging in her mind as she thought of what to do with the Companion Cube. It was her last connection, the only thing she could relate to. She couldn't leave it. She knew she had to though, if she ever wanted to get out of here. She closes her eyes and exhales, undoing the taught ponytail. Her hair glides almost gracefully down her back, gracefully splaying across her shoulders. The sun catches off of it, causing her to almost gleam, a chestnut haired angel. As if doing this gave her a newfound confidence, the woman ran from the cube as fast as she could, trying her hardest to look straight ahead and not dare look back at it, despite her lingering feelings for it. She continued to repeat in her mind that it was "<em>just a hunk of metal, just metal…"<em> She continued to run, ignoring the howling coming from her aching legs. Her body screamed for her to stop, but she knew she couldn't, she had to find at least a small town, somewhere to rest.  
><em>It's a nice little town, Chell, I think you'd really love it…<br>_

A raging headache slams down upon her, stopping her movements completely. Her hands race up to her head, trying to rub the pain away. A beautiful, hazel eyed woman with dirty blonde hair flashes through her mind for just a second. Her brain struggles to connect the pieces together, her name was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't place it. The woman looked so familiar, but Chell had no clue who it was. Another memory surged by, and she sees herself with this woman in the middle of a cornfield looking just like the one next to her. The woman is hugging her, and the hug warms Chell's heart, as if this woman is a sun's ray herself. Chell hears her voice surrounding her, telling her about the town, about memories, about the new lab across the street they could work at, and it all feels too real. It's too much.  
>Chell opens her mouth to scream, but nothing will come forth. She wants the voices to quiet, they're screaming, she can't even hear her own thoughts anymore. Her vision is blurred with the past, mixing imagination and reality. Chell collapses to her knees, banging her fists on the cold asphalt. The voices only get louder, and she slams her head off of the ground to try and get them to stop. It definitely works, the pain acts as a new focus, quieting the voices and making the woman fade from her vision. Chell stands, but almost falls over from giving herself a slight concussion. She feels pain radiating from her fists, and sees from the dying rays of the sun that they're bleeding. A cool drop of blood slowly slides down her forehead, and the fragile woman feels tears starting to form, but she won't let herself cry. After assuring herself that she was better, Chell started to run again, following the moon's now white beaming ray on the asphalt, hoping she would find civilization soon enough. She closed her eyes, simply concentrating on the pounds of her feet, as if it would make her aching pains go away.<p>

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><p>She doesn't know how much time has passed before she hears murmuring voices. She smiles to herself, relieved that she has finally found human life. She hasn't been around another human since those memories with that woman, which still clogged Chell's mind. Chell doesn't even know how to interact with another human, it's been so long…<p>

"Hey…someone's coming. Maybe we should just pack it up and get out of here…" Some man murmurs. Another man hushes him with a finger resembling a rat's.

"Jeremy…we really need to get out of here, if somebody sees us with the stuff…" the voice whined, almost like a puppy.

"Jeremy, come on, let's just go. We're on the most wanted list at the moment, we can't afford to be seen, remember the plan about hiding an-"

"Would you just shut your god damn trap for one second? Look…it's a woman. You keep your trap shut, and I'll split 'er with ya," Jeremy hissed at his companion with the deadliness of a cobra. His partner simply nodded and kept quiet, biting his lip. Jeremy slowly approaches the woman, and she stops dead in her tracks, fear racing through her mind.  
>Chell instinctively smiles at the man, happy to see another human being. He cackles like a hyena, and Chell shields her face from his spit. He traces her arm with a finger, and something screams within Chell that this isn't right.<p>

"What's yah name, darlin'? Mine's Jeremy, I'm glad we could meet up," he coos to her. Chell feels something evil radiating off of the man's words and her mind is screaming at her to run, but her body feels too heavy, she can't move. He likes seeing the woman shudder and attempt to slink away, it excites him knowing that he's finally caught a pretty piece of prey. He waits for a spiteful response, almost enraged after she doesn't say a word.

"What's tha matter with you, you too good or somethin' you little tramp? Obviously, you're not that grand and all if you's stuck out here," he hisses at her. She flinches, but still nothing, not even a little hint of discomfort. What a shame, a toy that won't work.

"I'll teach you to mess with me, lady…Devon, get the ropes and the blindfold…we's gonna have ourselves a little fun tonight…" Jeremy fusses with his belt as Devon springs into action, binding Chell's arms together and tying a blindfold tightly around her eyes. Enveloped in the darkness, Chell collapses to her knees, wanting to scream so badly. She feels it edging to get out, but it just won't. She feels a rough hand collide with her face, and she's pushed upon her back. Something wet glides across her face slowly, sliding down her neck and biting with malicious intent, even drawing blood. Chell can't even wince in pain, her whole body has locked up as she feels her pants being pulled away ever so slowly.

"Listen, little Miss Mute…I'm gonna teach you some manners. It's only polite to talk to your captive and understand that he is the master…" Jeremy pulls his old army knife from his pocket, grinning as it gleams in the light. He cuts her leg, smiling at how she flinches away. He can smell her sweat and her fear, and he loves it. He greedily rips her underwear away, forcing himself inside of her. A small gasp is finally able to escape from Chell's clogged throat, and she's burning with pain. He thrusts against her, slamming full weight into her body. She can hear him moaning and cackling, and she wants to die. She wishes she had died during a test, it would be better than enduring this. She can hear somebody else laughing and shouting at the man on top of her to go harder. She feels his sticky liquids flood her, as he finally eases out as slowly as possible; to remind her of what just happened. Jeremy glares at Devon, knowing he doesn't deserve to share his prize, she was Jeremy's and Jeremy's only, but now he's done with her. A slave that won't talk is no good, and will only taste terrible later.

"Too bad the toys can't last forever, Devon…" he sees Devon staring lustfully at the woman, undoing his belt. Jeremy cuts Devon across the arm, and hisses at him. Devon knows this gesture all too well, from the two other deep gashes on his arm.

"Hehe…it's not often we run into a special toy, Jeremy," Devon coos as he nurses his cut. Devon kicks Chell in the gut as hard as he can, only just noticing the Aperture Science logo on her tank top. It means absolutely nothing to him, even though he points it out to Jeremy, turning his back to Chell to laugh with his partner at all the misfits that got sent to Aperture Science. Chell feels weak and so mentally torn and sickened that she's about to vomit, and she's enraged at the men for hurting her. _How could they? How could they be so evil?_Chell claws the blindfold away from her eyes, quietly getting up from the ground, clenching her fists tightly. She can't control her rage anymore. Suddenly, Devon feels a fist colliding with his face. To Jeremy's utmost shock, the woman had taken the blindfold off and stood up, shaking uncontrollably, and she punched his partner square in the face, enough to knock him to the ground. It excited him once more, and he enjoyed seeing Devon kick her back to the ground, cursing at her and beating upon her. Jeremy pulls Devon the Lion away from the girl, telling him that their job is done and that Devon did well, promising to reward him with an extra 'bite'. Devon stared hungrily at the briefcase, containing the remains of their previous victim. He was saddened that he wouldn't get to try this new girl, but Girl Number Two was so tasty, so sweet, he didn't really mind. Jeremy patted his partner on the back, leaving the girl and cleaning up any traces of he and Devon's playtime. He blew a kiss to Chell, cackling with pure evil, and chased after his partner, who was already almost out of sight. He made a mental note to keep this girl in mind, especially if she started to cause trouble or if she happened to pass by again, she'd certainly make a tasty meal. The thought of her flesh made him tremble with excitement.

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><p>Chell curled her body up into a tight ball, shaking with fear, hurt, and anger. No matter how hard she tries, she can't get the tears to stop, and she can't get the pressing pain to leave. The screaming has returned to her mind, demanding why those men did what they had done to her, why that had hurt her, and how badly she wanted answers.<br>For the first time ever since she could remember, a pained scream breaks through her throat, soaring out of her mouth, radiating within her ears. It felt good to scream, a small comfort. Her own voice even seemed foreign from her, and she started to question if it was even her own. Chell pushes her knees closer to her chest, feeling the hot tears striding down her face.

_If only the pain would fade that easily…  
><em>

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><p><em>Ending note: More chapters will be arriving soon. I appreciate any reviews, constructive or just complimentary. <em>


	2. Nina

_Author's Note: __I'm very sorry for the lengthened delay, but I've been dealing with a lot lately, and hope this chapter is good! Thank you for those of you that have waited, if anybody has._

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><p><em>"I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?" <em>

_― Laurie Halse Anderson - Speak_

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><p>Chell was curled up tightly, shivering, even though the sun was shining brightly upon her again. The long night was finally over, her crying had finally ceased, but her mind was as vibrant as ever. Her brain was flooded with numbing thoughts. Those men loomed over her, laughing at her, touching her. She couldn't forget their faces, even though it was dark, she could see their faces perfectly, snarling at her like wild animals, like she were prey.<p>

_I was prey…_

Her stomach growls deeply with a raging hunger and Chell feels her throat has become extremely dry; it's almost hard to breathe. She tries to get up, she needs to move, to get out of here, but she falls over again, her arms feeling like rubber, her whole body numb. She's so angry at herself for letting them do those things to her, but she was so _innocent_. She hadn't been in contact with humans for so long, she was so willing to trust anybody.

_So stupid, so vulnerable._

She smashes her head on the ground, re-opening her injury from yesterday, and the feeling of the warm blood slowly trickling down her face brings almost a peaceful feeling. It disgusts her to be thinking like this, and she closes her eyes again. Just before Chell drifts off to sleep, she hears footsteps. They're gentle, but they're booming in Chell's mind, echoing throughout her skull, vibrating her bones. She gasps, but it's airy and quiet, and she forces herself to try and crawl away, she knows she's going to be hurt again. She can't shake the feeling of danger, it's heavy upon her, it's consuming her, swallowing her whole.

"Miss, please, stop moving. You're very hurt…" A woman's gentle voice rings in Chell's ears, but she sounds so distant, everything is going numb. She stops moving and curls up again, and the woman is speaking into a radio, alerting her comrades of the situation. The woman turns Chell over as gently as she can, and the radio slips from her hand, landing with a dull crash on the asphalt. She brushes the hair out of the woman's face, and recognition sparks in her eyes. She knows this woman; she hasn't seen her in what feels like years, since she planted herself in cryosleep a year after Chell had gone missing. She was twenty-one when they first met, and now she's twenty-five. Chell looks almost the same age, possibly a year or two younger, the woman tells herself, but it's _definitely_her. Her gray eyes looked lifeless as they glanced into her own; she only needed that to know that she had experienced severe pain. Tears are streaming down her face, she's longed to see her best friend after the longest time, and she had wasted all her money just so she wouldn't lose any time with Chell whenever she was found. She lived on the streets for three years, scrounging up any money she could. All of that pain and misery, just for this moment.

"Chell…" She says softly, touching her face. Thank God she was working this route today, checking for any illegal activities or drug deals and the like. And then she hears a gasp from the weak woman under her.  
><em>It's her, it's her, it's her, the woman with the beautiful hair, the one I saw. Nina. <em>  
>Chell's mind explodes, filling itself with forgotten memories, memories bursting with life between she and Nina, and she can't take it, it's just enough to put her over the edge, and she passes out.<br>Nina feels Chell's body go limp, but she's smiling.

Chell rouses herself from the deep clutches of sleep, and she can tell it's nighttime. The room she's in is pitch black, and her clothing feels different. She wants to run away, but something tells her that it's safe here. She hears two people arguing in a room close to her.  
>"I told you, I found her on the street, she's an old friend of mine…" <em>Nina, <em>Chell thinks to herself, recognizing the voice.

"_Bullshit._ I know you've been with other women, Nina, I bet she's a hooker, a slut, and that's all you deserve, you scum! Why would you take her here and not the police station, you dumbass! Why not the hospital? Are you _that _dense?" Another woman shouts, her anger mixed with absolute sadness. Chell feels guilty for listening, and she feels bad, knowing she caused the fight, but she can't help but to listen.

"Does calling me names make you feel better about yourself, Amelia? Okay, fine, you're right, I should've taken her to the hospital, but I already reported it to the police station! I had to! She was passed out anyway, and I called backup to come take her. I lied to them to bring her to our apartment because I haven't seen her in _years_, she's the one I blew all my money on so I wouldn't be too old if she were ever found after she went missing! I thought you'd be the one to understand me out of everybody else…"

Nina is sobbing now, her emotions uncontrollable. This was a horrible idea, she thought Amelia would understand, let Chell live with them, she _has _to understand. Amelia laughs loudly.

"Wow, you're really good at making up lies. In fact, you're so good, that you just…I don't even know. You know what, I'm done with you, and you're nothing but trouble for me." Chell can hear her angry footsteps cascading throughout the house, objects being ripped from shelves. The footsteps return after a few minutes, and Amelia stops at the door.

"Just so you know, I was with another woman myself, and she treats me _so much better_ than you ever would." The door opens, and slams again. Even Chell feels poisoned by the woman's hurtful words, and she hears Nina crying softly. She wants to go out there and say she's sorry, she wants to. She has to. She forces herself to crawl out of bed, but she lands with a soft thud on the floor. She immediately gets up, her wrists and ankles still aching from being tied up so tightly, and her abdomen aches. Her hand rests on the doorknob, knowing that she should probably stay in here, but she opens the door quietly. Chell cringes as she hears the door creak, and Nina looks up at her.

"…Chell? What are you doing up, you should…go back to bed." Nina resists the urge to scream at her for ruining her relationship with Amelia, but she knows that's not right. Chell hasn't done anything wrong, and it was her fault for bringing Chell here. It's comforting to see Chell here, and it makes her feel even better that she was at least able to put Chell in clean clothes, a simple white dress. Chell tugs at the fabric clutching at her stomach, not used to the feel of a dress. Nina smiles slightly and motions for Chell to come sit by her. Chell looks at her in slight confusion, and stands there, pondering. _  
>I could solve all those hellish tests so easily, but why is being with others so difficult? <em>Chell thinks to herself. Nina gets up, and guides Chell over to the couch, thinking that she might still be too weak to walk without support. She sits Chell next to her on the couch, smiling. Chell was always so talkative before, and it was eerie to Nina how quiet it was in the house. Chell was practically a party animal a times, shouting, laughing uncontrollably, but this was almost foreign. Maybe she needed encouragement.  
>"So Chell…how have you been?" <em>That was an awful question, of course she's been horrible, she was on the street half naked<em>, Nina thinks to herself. It was the only way she knew how to start a conversation

Chell still didn't respond, even though she longed to, she wanted to talk, she tried to force herself to talk, but nothing would come out. She wishes she could communicate somehow, and then she spots paper out of the corner of her eye. She grabs it greedily, and searches for something to write with. Nina looks at her strangely, and Chell points to a corner, seeing pencils sticking out of a cup. She's pointing desperately; this is her first chance to communicate with somebody.  
>"You want a pencil? Of course, of course," Nina tells her gently, getting up to grab Chell a few pencils, believing she's going to draw something, and she hands them to her. Chell doesn't remember anything about writing, but she sets the paper on the table and her hand goes into a familiar position on the pencil, and the letters flow out of her, her writing turning into her voice. Her handwriting is small and childish, and a science project involving a potato flashes into her mind, but she ignores it. Nina stares at the paper, tears coming to her eyes again.<p>

_Men hurt me. _

Chell looks down at the words, feeling proud for writing them, but her mind floods with the memories of them again. She closes her eyes, whining, and Nina stares at the paper, not wanting to believe what she's seeing.  
>"Chell…how did they hurt you? Did they cut you?"<br>Chell nods her head softly, not daring to look at Nina.  
>"Chell…they didn't…did they…rape you?" <em>This is what Nina was fearing, it would be the only reason for Chell's pants to be torn off, unless…no, it couldn't be, it can't be. <em>  
>The word rape echoes in Chell's mind, it's familiar, but she can't remember what it means, and she gives Nina a quizzical look. Nina stifles herself from bursting out in tears again.<br>"Did they…do anything to you…regarding to your genitalia? Right…here?" Nina points to in between Chell's thighs, and she sees tears dripping from Chell's eyes. Nina would've missed it if she wasn't watching Chell so intently, but she nods. Nina shatters, sobbing loudly. _No, no, no, no, no, why her? Why did it have to be Chell?  
><em>Chell feels herself about to pass out from the emotional pain, and she has to say she's sorry to Nina, for being a problem, for making her friend leave, for making her cry twice. She doesn't even know if she was the thing that made her friend leave, but she convinces herself that she was. She clenches a pencil, scribbling upon the paper once again.

_I'm sorry._


End file.
